sweet Cash...

Well it's been a whirlwind of emotion this last week as on Thursday evening Cash began excessively throwing up. Brent and I weren't terribly concerned @ first, as he had two days earlier scooped a handful of raw egg into his mouth while helping me make breakfast. (nasty) :) So it was our assumption (and also the doctors concern) that he had developed salmonella poisoning. Many of the symptoms include extreme stomach cramping, vomiting, etc. So as he went through the phases, he began having extreme diarhea for two days, then began vomiting again. When the vomiting started up again we became really worried and new something else had to be going on. At this point we took him to urgent care to have him checked out (where they did check for appendicitis, but he showed no pain when his right side was pressed on firmly.) So we were sent home and being monitored over the phone with our Dr. every few hours.

Come Tuesday Brent and I had booked a resort in Scottsdale for our 3 days this year we were going to be together without our kids. We had already arranged for Brent's parents to keep the kids, and so to get out of the house and still enjoy what we had already paid for, we brought Cash along and were able to really focus on taking care of him that way. Mase and Marli went on to Grams and Pops and LOVED the extra attention they were getting @ their house. We were @ the hotel for an hour and half or so before we decided to take him to the hospital.

We got here, and found after getting a CT scan that his appendix had ruptured. Apparently for young children, it's not safe to operate immediately if the appendix already burst. So what they prefer to do is go in for the first surgery to drain the infection that's formed a large absess around the appendix. THEN treat with antibiotics forever ;) and 6 to 8 weeks later when his little body isn't so compromised, then they go in and remove the appendix remains. I was always under the impression if your appendix burst it needed removed immediately. So as we waited all night in the ER knowing it had burst, our hearts were breaking, and our minds were wandering like crazy. Because this can be deadly. The kept telling us they were monitoring him keeping him comfortable, etc. and in my mind, I'm thinking of course he's comforable, you're pumping morphine into him, all the while this infection is spreading through his body. Needless to say, after several attempts of getting an IV in, all the while Cash screaming, sweating, we were assured that the operation needed to wait. So we waited.

Literally hundreds of times I've heard that heartbreaking "owie" out of Cashes little mouth, but finally @ 3 yesterday they went in to drain the infection. I've never had to see one of my children be put under, but that was disturbing to say the least. They warned us that he'd scream because the medicine burns, so as we were kissing his sweet face he was screeeeaaaming then looked at us and in one second went from screaming to out cold. Crazy to me how fast that works and also alarming. Brent and I came out to the waiting room and held each other crying. You may expect that from me, but when I see my husband who as most of you know, is not your typical crier, breakdown, I have no chance of holding it together.

So...procedure went well, he now has a drain that is continuing to come out of his little body & a port for IV's from home after we leave here that goes up through his arm into his heart. He was resting comfortably and Brent and I noticed his tummy started to grow by what felt like the second. It was rock hard and expanding quickly. THe surgeon came to our room to check on him and began filling us in on the new scenario. His bowels began to shut down. Very common, however if the large intestine were to shut down, they'd need to operate immediately again to revive it. So doctors and nurses were rushing in and out of our room, calling the xray team up, and getting the surgical team on standby in case he had to be rushed in. The nurses came in and quickly put a tube in his nose that went to his tummy and it began draining an excessive amt. of fluid out. His heart rate was through the roof, because he couldn't breath. His stomach swelling was taking up all of this space to breath and the tiny little un-swollen top part of his chest was rapidly raising up and down. As Brent and I sat by the bed and tried to calm him and hold his hands I had moments of being unable to breath myself. I thought there was a chance we might lose him. I glanced @ Brent in our state of feeling helpless and saw tears just streaming down his face. It was the scariest moment by far of our minimal years as parents.

However, the draining of his tummy helped and we got good news that only his small bowels had shut down, therefore no addition operation was necessary. The doctor that was on this evening was sent to me from Jesus, I believe. He sat next to me and as he was explaining Cash's situation I began to cry and he was very reassuring and just such a nice guy. He kept coming into our room after things calmed down just to visit with us and assure us of the progress Cash was making, etc. Don't get me wrong, I've been very pleased with ALL of the doctors and nurses we've had here, however, I did flat out ask one of them if Cash was going to die (before his operation and things were up in the air) and he looked @ me, and said, "well, Jessica I can't say no." then proceeded to explain how in Cash's situation he'd be very surprised if he were to die, etc he's just unable to say for certain, he just phrased it horribly. :)

SO...things are looking up. The plan is to be here for another week on antibiotics, then home for 10 days with antibiotics in the little IV that goes to his heart then back again in 6-8 weeks for another operation. But he's going to be just fine and is the strongest little guy. All the nurses keep telling us that he's handling his pain extremely well.

Through all of this Brent and I both have been dealing with extreme guilt. That darn mom-guilt that nothing we do is ever good enough all though we're trying our best. I keep picturing him hobbling around our house holding his tummy telling myself, I should've known it was something more. I have TWICE the guilt because dag-gum...MY APPENDIX has ruptured. When I was in High school. I am crying right now just playing through the "what-ifs" of the situation, but God is giving me very special moments of peace that have outweighed all the anxieties. The surgeon also assured me that over 50% of kids Cash's age who come in with appendicitis, it's already ruptured. Because they can't vocalize specifically the right side of their tummy hurts, etc. AND HE has never operated on a child Cash's age who's hadn't already ruptured. SO he made me feel better for a few minutes :) I think if anything we've learned not to get so 'tunnel' focused thinking it's only salmonella, etc. Who knows if he even had salmonella! But if this raw egg incident wouldn't have happened we probably would've thought to bring him in sooner, although, day 3 of all of it was when they checked his appendix @ urgent care and by then they said it may have already ruptured because it didn't bother him when they pushed on the right side that day. So...even if we would've brought him in sooner we could still be where we are right now. God has had his hand in all of this and that has been extremely evident.

He has drawn so near to us, and I've just been overwhelmed with thankfulness for His healing power and the love and support from friends and family makes me cry every time I even mention it. We have so much to be grateful for and things could be much much worse than they are. So we're so happy that things God-willing will get easier for little Cash Isaiah from here! But take it from me, if your child starts puking, no matter WHAT has happened the day before, make sure the right side of his little belly isn't causing excruciating pain... :(

Sweet Cash,
You have been through so much this last week, it's been heartbreaking to see you in so much pain and going through so many procedures @ this hospital...I'm lifting you up again right now to our heavenly father who's already holding you in his arms. I pray that His healing touch will continue to come over your little body and fully heal this infection. Mommy is so sorry we didn't catch this sooner, I have so many feelings of things I wish looking back, I would've thought about. I am so proud of you and how strong you have been through all of this, and I'm sooo excited to get to see you smiling & laughing again with that sweet, feisty little personality of yours shining through. I'm missing that, but am so thankful that you are on the road to getting better. You hold our hearts in your tiny little hands. We love you so much.

Marli Grace

Well, we're feeling overwhelmingly blessed as we've welcomed our third child into the world. Marli Grace was born on February 19th @ 6:06am weighing in @ 8lbs and 14 ounces...larger than both of her brothers, AND 9 days early due to an induction :). BIG healthy baby! Our doctor had been 'suggesting' that we possibly consider inducing because of her size, she was afraid Marli would be extremely large, so we decided to go ahead and schedule her delivery. The night we were to get called into the hospital came and went, because they were so busy. SO the following night Brent and I had taken the boys to the park and we were playing when all of the sudden, my phone rang and it was the nurse saying to come in!!! Emotions were high!! :) We were sooo excited we all ran home and got our things together and headed in right away. They started inducing me @ 8pm and she made her arrival @ 6 am the next morning. I survived the delivery without an epidural which was my goal...and it took me a few days to be able to say this, but I preferred not having one, as opposed to having one with both boys. I felt much better and Marli was much healthier as well! So the delivery went great. God has blessed us with the most content, sweet little girl. Marli hardly ever cries, unless there's something wrong, and even then her cry is so quiet. She will willingly coast off to sleep on her own several times a day...and even @ night sometimes. She is SO sweet.

Life as a family of 5 is going so great! Marli has two doting big brothers ;) whom literally give her kisses all day long and love her to pieces. They always are wanting to fill her in on what they're doing, or share their toys, or hold her. She is loved by so so many. Daddy has been super busy this month, just between work, teaching a class, flag football, and softball umpiring...so the time we have all together we do our best to maximize. He's the hardest working husband, father, and employee that I know, and I am so proud of him and all he's doing. On the flip side of that, we're ALL very excited that things are going to slow way down here soon!

Marli has brightened our world up even more, and we feel so lucky to have her in our lives. She's got the sweetest little smiles, and is starting to respond now to familiar voices, and sounds. It's so cute...her little smile melts our hearts. It's hard to believe she's already over one month old...I wish @ times we could freeze these moments because they go entirely too fast, but we're doing our best to cling to each minute of everyday by enjoying it to the fullest...precious times these are with our three little children.

Marli Grace,
You, our sweet little girl, light up our world!!! Your mommy and daddy, and two big brothers love you more than you can imagine. But even above our love, is your heavenly father's love for you, and that is beyond even our understanding because of how limitless and astounding it is. Your daddy and I are already praying everyday that one day, you'll come to know Jesus as your own and that He'll be your best friend and guide. We are also praying that we do all we can to get you to that place and raise you in a home that shows you his love daily. We are so far from perfect, but through His help we pray that you will see Him in us and through us in our home. How blessed we are to be your mommy and daddy and have the joy of watching you grow into the woman God has created you to be. You are beautiful, Marli Grace and we love you so so much. As your brothers would say "we love you to the moon and the sun, the moon and the sun, the moon and the sun, and back ;)"
Love,
Daddy, Mommy, Mason and Cash
Here are lots of pictures from Marli's arrival :)

It's the most wonderful time of the year!!!! :)

Haha, I think that was my blog title last Christmas, but it's so true. We LOVE this time of year...how can you contain your joy when celebrating our Savior and His birth...and how great that we really can celebrate that all year long! This year, we decorated way early (beginning of November!) so we had lots of time to enjoy all the festivities! Our Christmas was spent this year with my side of the family. We woke up Christmas morning, had Christmas the four of us, then 17 of our family who were here from out of town, etc...all came over for the afternoon/evening.

The excitement @ Christmas takes on a whole new meaning with little ones in the house, who believe in Santa :) it's soooo much fun, and just as exciting for us :) to see them so anxious and excited. We had a very very special day...here are some pictures!

Polar Express

We decided this year, with the boys being a bit more 'understanding' of Christmas that we'd take them to the Polar Express! We had heard great things about it, and boy did all those expectations get met and even exceeded! It was SO much fun...the boys were BEYOND excited, and seeing them with so much anticipation of meeting Santa, riding the polar express, singing Christmas songs, etc...was so so sweet. (I almost cried a couple times! surprise surprise ;)) We made a couple days out of it and stayed @ a hotel for a few nights, which is always such a nice treat! Daddy arranged all of that as a bit of a surprise to us, which was super fun! It was also fun to be in some cooooold wintery weather, although we were hoping for some snow, there wasn't any of that to play in.

A few hi-lights...Mase LOVES the lights, and there were TONS of Christmas lights everywhere, so that just lit up his world...and of course, meeting Santa was super exciting, too!!!! And Cash's favorite part was singing all the Christmas songs on the way home...with his little songbook he was LOVING that part!!!

These are memories I want to remember forever!!! ;) such a special weekend...loved every minute of it.
waiting in excitement to get to the north pole...

Random one of Cash, he for some reason wanted to take his clothes off and play in the sink @ the hotel :)

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good...

Thanksgiving is one of the best holiday's...right up there with Christmas. A great reminder of how much we do truly have to be thankful for all year round, and not just on that one day, but every minute of every SINGLE day. I feel so unworthy of the blessings in my life, but try to make an effort to not take for granted any of them. This year, we celebrated with the Hodges @ Grams and Pops new beautiful home in Goodyear.

Our dear dear family, and of course lots of yummy food...a very special day it was. Here are a couple pictures of the kids...Mommy was throwing up most of the day, therefore didn't take as many pictures as normal! But that's alright, it was a great day!! Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

Halloween Night...2010

As I previously mentioned, for Cash's second birthday we celebrated on Halloween by having a family halloween/costume/birthday party! Our family were all good sports and we had some fun dressing up with the kids. Our evening was spent celebrating Cash with a birthday dinner, cake, then gifts and we topped the evening off with trick-or-treating around the neighborhood for LOTS of candy! It was SUCH a fun Halloween...one to remember :) Daddy was the "candy-burglar", Mommy was a leopard, Mase was a studly Batman, and Cash was an adorable Buzz...the kids were too cute!
here are some pictures from the night...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CASH!

Oh my goodness...it's hard to believe Cash's two year birthday has already passed us by!! What a blessed two years we've had with this precious little boy. You've brought us SO much joy, Cash....and we love you so so much!

Cash has the sweetest little personality, gives kisses away so freely, uses his eyes to do most of his talking :), and has his daddy's funny sense of humor, and dance moves! We celebrated Cash's birthday on Halloween this year and had a costume party with all of the family! It was sure fun...Cash picked out his costume, Buzz :) and loved looking @ himself in the mirror when he had it on, he turned into a different little boy!

We are so lucky that all of our family (aside from great grandparents, and lots of great aunts/uncles, etc) are close by, being together often, and ESPECIALLY times like these is truly priceless. We feel so blessed.

Precious Cash Isaiah,
We can't believe you're already two years old. Your mommy and daddy (and Mason!) are so so proud of you and the little boy you've become...we look forward to many many many more memories with you and your sweet sweet little personality! (although one which holds his own as well!!! hehe) Happy Birthday, little man, you are such an incredible blessing to us. We love you, Cash Isaiah! Love, Mommy, Daddy, and Mase

summer 'stay-cation'

This past August, Brent, the boys and I had a week off all together and spend 7 nights @ the wigwam resort here in Litchfield Park! It was super cheap because it's seriously hot here but we made the best of the weather, by doing lots of things indoors around AZ we typically don't do often...children's museum, trip to the aquarium, indoor putt-putting, swimming every night @ the hotel...we had a VERY relaxing week...one that was much needed. Here are some pictures from this little 'getaway'! :)